Blogging is NOT a crime!
by TranquillyChaotic
Summary: blogging, parties, getting drunk. this is, ultimately, da bomb! am pretty hyper. took me a while to type. sasuXsakuXnejiXsai. pretty good, if i say so myself. and come on, everybody has that opinion. humorous romance! i do not own.
1. Chapter 1

**ME; **hey, guys! R&R. I am in a hurry, so toodles!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Naruto. Never have, never will. Scout's honor. put hand on heart

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**Blogging is NOT a crime!: Chapter 1**

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**Time: 4:56:23 P.M.**

**Mood: my life sucks**

**Music: numb, by linkin park (ssooo depressing, if you really listen, you can make it apply to your life…soooo depressing)**

My life sucks. Did you notice that I wrote the time military-ily? Yeah, that's how boring my life is. What the hell does P.M. stand for anyway?…never mind. Anyway, I am here to blog, not to ask. My friend, uh…lets call her Blondie, told me to start a blog, and actually informed (big word, big word…right?) me that it helps relieve stress. SO, here we go!

These are my three ways to life:

Good grades/ Good job (You'll be happy to know that I have neither)

Athleticy-ness (Good, but not the best. There's always this one girl who JUST manages to beat me…except for at volleyball and basketball.)

And….(drum roll, please) boys (men are preferred)!!!you know you all want one…unless you're a guy or are a lesbian…no offense to lesbians…I LOVE LESBIANS, JUST DON'T KILL ME! (only applies to gays or straight girls)

And also…ugh. Girls. (lame attempt to cheer) guys, we're cool, right? (Hehehe, not that I'm saying I'm a girl…hehehe)

Whew! Anyhow, my grades? Going down the drain. My Spanish sucks, my history sucks, my English sucks, my Spanish sucks, my speech sucks, my math…ROCKS, actually! I don't know why, but its, like, a stereotype that all Asians rock at math.

OKAY! DAY ONE!

Get up. Fall out of bed. Stumble into bathroom. Take a leak. Put on uniform, Flip hair. Wink at reflection. Practice puckering.(_Hottie!)_ Push W.-Orbs (from now on, I'll just call W.-Orbs Worb) off the bed. And shove. And push. And shove.

**REACTION: "Bitch! Get away from me!"**

(Wow. Doesn't she love me SO much?) Give up. Get laptop. Find speech. Edit it. Transfer to desktop (SOOOO much trouble). Print. Go to cafeteria. Eat a few barbecue lays. Go to tutorial. In tutorial…NEVER MIND! THIS IS WAAAYYYY TO BORING! Will tell good things about day.

Today, Cuz **(A/N: like cousin, not because)**talked to me! Actually, he only grunted. Is that even a phrase? But still, he never does that! He is so hot, with his muscular biceps, his hot abs (not that I could see them), his sexy mussed-up long hair (he DOES NOT look like a hippy, okay people?), and his ASS. Oh my god. Actually, no. I cannot bring myself to look at his ass. What if its…its…deformed????!!!! Unfortunately, I can only see Cuz as a sexmate, or a jump-my-bones-I'm-horny mate, not a SOULmate. Depressing thought, isn't it?

Waaahhhhhhh!!!!!! Going to eat fudge.

_**Comments**_

Subject: _**Oooohhh, I likey!**_

Lesboluver#1: Honey, I love lesbians too, we should get together! 

Subject: _**I don't!**_

pinkISstrong: Actually, I think I'm good. I'm…uh…already with someone.

Subject: _**Noooo!**_

Lesboluver #1: What?! Where's that skank? I'll get rid of her for u, and we can have…good times together. (Hint – I'm really good with my tongue)

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Subject: _**GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH!**_

LittleMissRed123: Like I said, GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH!

Subject: _**Excuse me?!**_

pinkISstrong: Get out of my face, you freak. And, anyway, you don't even know who I am talking about.

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Subject: _**Are you retarded?**_

Domyeyeslookwhite: it is REALLY obvious who you're talking about.

Subject: _**Probably.**_

pinkISstrong: maybe they'll think I slept with neji…not. That would never happen. I wish he would get a clue, and just kiss my lips off or something….Ewwwww!!!! Horrible mental picture!

Subject: _**Get therapy! Now!**_

Domyeyeslookwhite: Sometimes, I just don't get you. Now, don't forget, drama auditions at 5 tomorrow! See ya!

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"Sakura!" Hinata calls.

_I saunter over, sexily and gracefully. Puckering my lips at hot guys, finger-waving, flipping my hair. I swear, they just love me. Not. Unfortunately, my foot gets caught on somebody's purse strap, and I stumble over, fall onto an acne-covered guys lap, and accidentally slap someone in the face with my nice finger-wave. ("Hey, dude! Watch out!")_

When I finally reach Hinata, she sneers, "Nice."

I smack her. Strangely though, Hinata doesn't return the smack. She puts down her head, and just sits there silently.

_Weird. Is she okay?_

_Okay. Today's goal; try not to suck. I always sing in the shower, so I can just pretend the boo's are water. Pft! That's not going to work. I will successfully sneak out! Okay. _

_1 – _

_2 – _

_3 –_

_Plan in action!!! Charge, woman!_

I stealthily sneak out of my seat and slowly creep up the aisle. I reach for the door, pull it open, and – _**SPLAT! – **_fall backwards.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I scream. The current girl on stage stops singing, and as I look towards the audience, I swear that I see Hinata rolling her eyes at me.

I quickly pull myself up, plaster on a fake grin, wave (making sure my bangles jangle), and go, "I'm good! Just need to use the restroom!"

Everyone just shake their heads in that oh-my-god-she-always-does-this-she's-so-stupid way, and turn around. Then, I turn my head around (I'm sure I got whiplash) and glare at my tormentor.

_Son of a bitch. He's smirking. I will whipe that smirk off of his face. Then, I will-- oooohhhh. HOOOTTTT!!! Burning me!_

An older man had walked up behind Mr. McSmirky, who is (sadly-sob, sob.) still a boy and looks at me, melting me with his gaze. I swear my eyes probably turned into hearts.

I push McSmirky aside, and stick out my hand, "Hello! I'm Haruno Sakura. What's your name?" _and your number, and your height, and your weight, and also…can I feel your six-pack?_

"Hi. I'm Uchiha Itachi. This is my little brother Sasuke."

_Whoa. Sasuke McSmirky. I have GOT to write that down._

"Haruno Sakura?" calls out Kurenai-sensei, looking around the room for me.

"Oh! Kurenai-sensei, I'm coming!" I shout back, rather loudly, and dash down the rows. The Hot Brothers sit down in the back.

_So, what should I sing? Should I sing depressing, or should I sing happy? Which one? Which one? God, why is life so full of choices? Ugh! Okay, I will…no! I will…No! I will…_

"Ano? Sakura-chan? We're waiting."Kurenai-sensei says, not too patiently.

"Okay, sorry. I will sing…Oh. My. God."

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**Time: 10:09:46**

**Mood: Shockalocked. You could slap me and I would go, "Whoa baby, that car goes by fast!" If you don't get it, just…ALSDHFIAPDSPIAHF!**

**Music: Gone, by Kelly Clarkson. You would totally get it, if you were me.**

Okay, so I'm, you know, standing there, about to sing Cry…or Smile, by Lily Allens. I can't seem to remember what the title was. Anyhow, then, my old boyfriend comes in, Noodle-Doodles! (How 'bout ND? Or Doodles? Or Noodles? Send me a message!)

He goes, "Whoa. You got hotter." Dude, come on. I am all for flattery, but aren't parents always going, and I quote, "_You should love based on personality, not looks."_

I totally agree. Unless, it's me see hot guy, and not hot guy see me. There is a difference, people!

I am totally pissed. Not only that, I charged across the room in anger, and am now in detention. At 10! Fartnockers!

_**Comments**_

Subject: _**You!**_

nerdygirl098: You're such a hypocrite. Jeez. Get a life.

Subject: _**Excuse me?**_

pinkISstrong: You get a life. You're the one who's reading my blog.

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Subject: _**I think…**_

blondinblue: I think you should call him doodles.

Subject: _**Thanks.**_

pinkISstrong: your vote is appreciated

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Subject: _**Oooohhh**_

nuncakiss4free: just how hot?

Subject: _**On a scale from 1 to 10?**_

pinkISstrong: about an 8…maybe 9. y?

Subject: _**I'll tell you**_

Nuncakiss4free: call him ND Baby

Subject: _**Uhhh…**_

pinkISstrong: thanks! That's cute!

Subject: _**That's what…**_

Nuncakiss4free: I'm here for.

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**Time; 10:52:08**

**Mood: …uh…well…you see…too stunned for words**

**Music: none. Just the crickets and me. I am their conductor, and they are my orchestra**

I just watched the Pursuit of Happiness…Happyness. Yeah. That is so sad. It made me get drunk to rid my pain. Which is why I am now in the intellectual, go-save-the-world mood, and stunned, as seen in my mood.

I have come to a conclusion about what to do with ND Baby. I will confront him, and bitch-slap him back to England, or wherever the hell he came from. Did I mention that I'm drunk?

The petals on my pink roses are falling. It is really depressing. And the necks of their stems are getting really weak, like a wet banana peel when you bend it too much in a certain spot. I should go party. Actually…that's a pretty good idea. I'll bring my beer.

Party like a rock! Party like a rock..star!

_**No Comments**_

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I stumble out of my room, clutching my beer bottle in my hand, and somehow make it to the stairs without totaling anything. I am still in my overlarge shirt and overly-short shorts. I walk down the stairs, and on the last steps, I trip.

_**Thump!**_

I land on someone, straddling their hips, my head on their chest. I open my eyes and before I am knocked out, I look up, and see pools of onyx. Drowning me in their depths, the dark orbs hypnotize me asleep.

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**The End**

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**NOTE: **hello buggers! R&R! pretty please? With a cherry on top? Or, better yet, any food of your choice?


	2. Chapter 2

**ME: **hey, guys. this is a shoutout to pretzel. please bring my track shorts and sexy underwear to school tomorrow! I want to wear them! And dance till the sun falls!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Naruto, although I do wish so. Then, I would be rich and could meet hot celebrities…possibly…

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**Blogging is NOT a crime!: Chapter 2**

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**Time: 10:34:28**

**Mood: Confused, lost. Where is the light that guides me?**

**Music: Please don't stop the head-ache, please don't stop the head-ache! It's by Rihanna…my revised version. You know? It's music, but then I replace…Okay, I'll just shut up now.**

Okay. So. I am pretty lost. I am in someone's room. I'm not exactly sure whose. It's pretty nice. VERY decorated, and it looks pretty expensively furnished (big word, I know). I should get drunk and pass out more often.

The downside to that is the headache. Freaking God is freaking hammering my head open right about now. The upside? The beauty.

Plasma, iPod and speakers, stereo, desktop, laptop, desk, VERY nice bed (bouncing on it right now, in fact), cell phone, lamp, uh…yeah. I think I'm gonna stop now.

Wait. I said cell phone. Ooooooohhhhh! Just my luck. I just lost mine. Ohmigod! It's a…it's a…Blackberry!!!!!!

I love you, oh wonderful savior, owner of Blackberry's and Plasmas. I love you so much, that I will make an ode to you:

**ODE TO SAVIOR**

I got drunk and dizzy

Collapsing down the stairs

I find out that someone

Actually really cares

Enough to bring me to their room

Where they have lots of toys

Like Plasmas, iPods, Blackberries,

And possibly, BOYS!

I really really love you

I love you very much.

But I still won't give you my number

'Cuz you could be a stalker!

So, the end doesn't really rhyme, but, whatever. We all appreciate originality. I am TOTALLY going to steal this phone. Crap. Where do I hide it? Whatevs. I'll have gone by the time he/she gets here.

_**Comments**_

Subject: _**What?!**_

Domyeyeslookwhite?: Haruno Sakura! Get your ass back to this dorm room! Now! Don't make me drag you back!

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Subject: _**You!**_

nerdygirl098: You thief, you! Taking advantage of innocent bystanders! I should report you to the student council! Yes, I should!

Subject: _**What the hell?**_

pinkISstrong: Frickin' get a life! And, back off! I'm not taking advantage of innocent bystanders! I'm just…borrowing. Frickin' retard!

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Subject: _**I'll save you!**_

growingyouth: don't worry, madam, I will save you!

Subject: _**…**_

pinkISstrong: WTF?

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I quickly grab the Blackberry.

_Oh no! Where should I hide it? No pockets. Will NOT stick in panties. That is just gross. Oh, I know! Bra!_

I look down at my shirt. Apparently I didn't put on a bra. I must have thrown it away because of its uncomfortable-ness while I was still drunk and happy. I look around for a bra, any bra. I will risk anything for this Blackberry-Baby. Scratch that, MY…Bebe!

"Yes!" I say, triumphantly holding up a bra, my Bebe in the other hand.

I check the label.

_Wow. It's a DD. That is a HUGE size. I still wear B. This girl must be huge! Well…not as in fat, as in…well…bazookas!_

I dash to the restroom, and take off my shirt, and put the bra on. There is a lot of extra…well…storage space. Quickly, I shove the Blackberry in as well, and grab some toilet paper. This I shove in the other…pocket, to even out the…storage space. Perfect. I put the shirt on, and start cracking up.

_I look like a stripper! Hahahahahaha! This makes my boobs look lumpy! Hahahahaha!_

_**Crick**_

_Oh, crap. Someone is coming. Hide._

I crouch under the bed, and wait for the person to pass. They walk in, look at the bed, and realize that the person (me) has already left. They keep walking and are almost in the bedroom when they realize something.

"Shit! That bitch stole my Blackberry!"

_Okay. Savior must be male. I must hide. Try not to laugh._

"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower now." He walks into the bathroom and starts showering.

"Phew. I'm safe." I whisper to myself.

The Blackberry starts buzzing, and ringing. Loudly. Carefully, I take off the bra, rid myself of the itchy toilet paper, and examine the phone.

**It says:**

"Bastard" is calling.

Accept?

Reject?

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I press 'Reject', and start to crawl out, abandoning the bra and toilet paper. Upon getting out, I crawl upwards and start to confidently stride to the doors, when someone taps me on the shoulder.

_Oh, crap. Hell no._

Slowly pivoting around, I turn to face HIM. McSmirky.

_McSmirky is my savior. Wow. He looks hot. Very nice abs. Very toned, very…shapely, and…uh…ab-like._

I look at him, and realize that he is still wet. I put my finger on his shoulder, lift up a drop of water, and look at him.

"You better go finish your shower." I say, beaming.

When he makes no move to leave, my beam starts to fade. I grab his arm, and pull him to the shower.

"Go on. Don't worry. The water won't hurt you."

_I feel like I'm talking to a baby._

He just keeps standing there, smirking angrily, yet amusedly at the same time. He leans forward, and I sort of lean back. He kisses me on the lips and starts to walk towards the shower.

"Uh…well…Bye now." I say dazedly.

I walk towards the doors, and this time, reach them. When I get outside, I lean on the doors, and let out the breath I was holding.

"Yes! I got to keep the Blackberry! And, he gave me a farewell present!"

_**MscSmirky's POV**_

I walk through my dorm doors, half-expecting the girl to still be there.

I reach for the nightstand to check my phone. I realize that it's gone, put two and two together, and say, ""Shit! That bitch stole my Blackberry!"

I hear some snickering coming from the bed, but just shake it off as wind. I walk into the bathroom to take a shower, undress myself, and get ready to jump in. Already inside, I hear my overly-loud cell phone ringing.

_Oh. So the cell phone must still be in the room._

I grab the nearest towel, wrap it around my waist, and step out. A girl is struggling out of underneath the bed, her pink hair in messy clumps. She shakes it out, flips it, and starts to walk out.

I reach out and tap her on the shoulder. She stops, and immediately starts to tense up. She turns around and pastes a smile on her face.

She reaches out, lifts a drop of water on my shoulders, and looks at it, then shifts her gaze to me. I stare back at her.

She beams, and says, "You better go finish your shower."

I smirk.

_This girl is hilarious. I look down, and see her trying to hide my Blackberry behind her back, and smirk even more. Does this girl realize how rich I am? I can just order a new one. But, I want to see what she'll do next. _

She huffs, grabs my arm, and proceeds to pull me to the shower.

"Go on. Don't worry. The water won't hurt you." she says to me, softening her face up in an attempt to look convincing.

_Exactly how old does this girl think I am?_

I lean forward, peck her on the lips and head to the shower.

"Uh…well…Bye now." she says, rather unresponsive and probably pretty shocked.

She runs out of the room, and as the door closes, I can hear her say, "Yes! I got to keep the Blackberry! And, he gave me a farewell present!"

I crack up laughing.

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**Time: 5:78:09**

**Mood: Did you know when you stretch out the word "mood" it ends up like mooooo…de? So, it's like I am in a funny mooooooo….de. Like a cow. You know?**

**Music: The wonderful sound of whirring laundry.**

Am in laundry room. I found out some stuff today, eavesdropping on random conversations.

Weapons is crushing on Cuz, and Cuz just does not seem to be returning the…vibe. Depressing how things turn out.

Worbs just happens to like…well…I need to find something to make him less obvious…oh…got it! Lion! If you don't get it, just ask. Actually, don't ask. Then, I will be giving out personal info. Don't ask. Anyway, Worbs likes Lion, and Lion is oblivious.

Blondie is now after Clouds, but unfortunately is being daunted by Ms. Fan. Cloudy day, isn't it, Clouds?

And also, I have just been cornered by ND Baby. Sadly, I did not survive the ordeal. I have a war scar. It's reddish, big, and did not actually break the skin. Guess what it is and when I found out?

Me: _**(walking onto lunch patio)**_

Random guy: Whoa! Is that a hickey?  
Me: What? Where? (_**frantically slapping neck)**_

Random guy: _**(Cracking up with skater-dude friends)**_

Me: Shut up, freaks! _**(throws hot dog at skater-dude and friends)**_

Random: Whoa! You bitch! _**(raises arms now covered in mustard and ketchup)**_

Me_**: (Walks away cackling loudly)**_

Yeah. Horrific scene, ain't it?

_**Comments**_

Subject: **Waaaahh!**

Domyeyeslookwhite?: Lion doesn't like me because he is crushing on you!

Subject: _**Pfftt!**_

pinkISstrong: The boy'll come around. Just a little pushing and shoving, and an extra-slutty dress, and he'll be in love with you in no time. Oh yeah. Buy him some ramen! Always works!

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Subject: _**I understand**_

bunsalwayswork: I understand Weapons' problem.

Subject: _**Yeah.**_

pinkISstrong: A lot of women seem to have that same problem.

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Subject: _**(No subject)**_

everythingistroublesome: It is a rather cloudy life/day. I'm voting for Clouds to pull through.

Subject: _**Fill in the subject!**_

pinkISstrong: It all depends on Clouds.

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Subject: _**Well…**_

nuncakiss4free: I think that Blondie is a slut. If Ms. Fan is with Clouds, then she should just back off.

Subject: _**Uh…**_

pinkISstrong: Thanks. Your opinion is much appreciated.

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Subject: _**Excuse me?**_

artiste911: Are you Sakura? Haruno Sakura? Who goes to Konoha High?

Subject: _**Pffft!**_

pinkISstrong: Of course not! I don't go to Konoha High! I go to...will not tell personal information.

Subject: _**Right.**_

artiste911: That's a relief. Because, I just gave this hot girl Sakura a hickey. I'm not sure why, but she tasted like strawberries.

Subject: _**Yeah?**_

pinkISstrong: There is this lotion called "Strawberries Galore!", but…TMI! Don't tell me this crap!

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I walk out of the laundry room holding me and Hinata's clothes. I am humming and laughing to myself, in a good mood because of my comments. I find it so hilarious that Blondie thinks that she herself is a slut without even knowing it. How freakin' hypocritical can these people get?

Still snickering to myself, I push past the revolving doors and crash into a wall. At least, I think it's a wall. Landing flat on my butt, my laundry flying everywhere, I look up and see familiar white eyes, flashing amusedly at me.

Unfortunately, my sexiest pair of underwear **(A/N: very cute, black and white stripes on back, and on front says pink police with little pink sign. got at Victoria's Secret) **lands on Neji's head, and he plucks it off and stares at it.

Leaning forward, he says, "Careful there, but I do like your underwear."

He kisses me on the nose, and retreats tossing my underwear at my head.

"Oh, dear lord, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I wail, "He saw my panties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

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**The End**

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**NOTE: **Hey, please R&R! Not many ppl have been doing that!


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